


Sand Cakes

by softljh



Category: GOT7
Genre: Angst, Angst and Feels, Brace yourselves??, Confusion, Family Fluff, Fluff and Angst, In this universe GOT7 exists so I guess it's 'Kinda Alternative Universe', It's an angst but I don't know whether to tag happy or sad ending because I don't want to spoil, Jackson is in pain, M/M, Mark is in pain too, Mostly Markson, Mostly Markson but others are mentioned here and there, MxM - Freeform, My girlfriend said she cried so uh, Realisation, There's also Namjoon from BTS, You might or might not cry (no promises), alternative universe, kinda alternative universe
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-09
Updated: 2018-09-09
Packaged: 2019-07-07 08:53:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,931
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15905001
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/softljh/pseuds/softljh
Summary: Years after GOT7 disbandment, Jackson is buried with his work but he still has to spend time with his son Jiyun. All Jiyun wanted was to go to the playground which resulted in Jackson remembering perhaps not so good memories--------------------------------DISCLAIMER: This is fictional. This is kind of alternative universe one shot because characters and group exist but this is still fictional. Don't own anything except the scenarios





	Sand Cakes

**Author's Note:**

> × × × shows where a throwback starts and ends
> 
> Hope you like it! :)

Jiyun jumped excitedly around the room because finally, he was at his dad's place.

"Jiyun-ah, please don't get hurt" His dad said to him with concern in his voice as the small one just gave his dad thumbs up and a big beautiful smile.

"Chaehee, I'm busy today..."

"Jackson, please, so am I.. Ever since you started doing variety shows you've started seeing Jiyun rarely.. Don't you think the poor boy misses his dad??"

Jackson let out a sigh. The memories of his parents flooding back to his mind as he started tearing up slightly. He hasn't seen them in a while.. Variety shows have taken up all his free time, actually no, all of his time.

"Are you crying?" Jackson heard a small voice ask so he quickly wiped the tear away and smiled at the small one.

"No sweetie, don't worry" He reassured the small boy as he nodded and restarted jumping.

"Hey, Jackson, I'm so--"

"It's whatever Chaehee, I'll watch him" Jackson said and ended the call not saying anything else.

"Yunie, please be careful, okay?" Jackson asked and received Jackson a thumbs up from his son. Jackson nodded and went to the kitchen to get water for the boy who'll get tired of jumping soon.

He returned and saw the boy lying face down on the couch, one of the hands outside the couch, small body looked lifeless.

"Dad.. Power.. Water.. Strong.. No energy.. Ndnaj.." Jiyun muffled into the couch making Jackson smile at the small one. He walked up to his son, sat down next to him with cup of water still in his hands.

"Here, drink this" Jiyun looked up, looked at the cup and back to his dad.

"Is that power water?" Jiyun eyed the cup suspiciously and Jackson nodded with a small laugh.

"Yes, I made power water for you, Jiyun-ah" Jackson shook his head at the thought of power water. He knew his son meant energy water which is literally just home made water with all kinds of fruits, but his son was too adorable while saying power water so Jackson never corrected Jiyun .

After Jiyun heard answer he was waiting for, he quickly sat up and stretched out both his arms towards the cup, which Jackson gave him.

The boy gulped all the water down in just few gulps and gave Jackson back the cup.

"Dad, let's go for a walk" Jiyun said as he looked up at Jackson. His eyes looked like Jackson's just slightly bigger.

"Any specific place you want to go?"

"Playground!! I have friends there!!" Small boy jumped on his feet excitedly, grabbing his dad by the hand and dragging Jackson towards the door to put the shoes on.

"Jiyun-ah, you do know we're not going to go to the playground you usually go to, right?"

"It's okay, I can make new friends" Jiyun gave his dad a smile making Jackson smile at how pure and precious his little boy is and just that sentence and the small one's smile was enough to get Jackson's agreement.

Both of them put on their shoes and left the house. The closest playground wasn't far from Jackson's house so they got there really quickly.

Jiyun at first ran towards the swings, then the sand box, slide, swings, sandbox, slide, swings, sand box; never failing to run without a proper rest.

Jackson sat down at the bench that was nearby the sand box, when Jiyun stopped there and started making sand cakes.

"Dad! Look at this cake!" Jiyun called Jackson excitedly making Jackson's heart melt. Jiyun was an adorable boy. Jackson nodded at the little one and watched as Jiyun continue making sand cakes.

Jackson felt his phone buzz.

Man of a ger: Jackson, where are you?

Jack: Playground

Man of a ger: What are you? Three?

Jack: No, but my kid is

Man of a ger: Right. Your kid. Don't forget you have schedule tonight.

Jackson got distracted from the text by cries of a little girl but that didn't make Jackson pull away from his phone. He really wasn't in the mood to do any schedules tonight.

Jack: Can't we reschedule?

Man of a ger: No, Jackson, we can't.

"Excuse me, but your son ruined my daughter's sand cakes"

That voice.

Jackson froze and after few moments passed he looked up.

Mark.

And a little girl in his hands.

"I-- Hi.." Jackson said still in shock.

He had grown a lot, even after their group activities came to an end.

"Hello, even if we've known each other for a long time, that doesn't mean I will let your kid go by for ruining my daughter's sand cakes"

"Jiyun-ah!" Jackson jumped up to his feet and called helplessly. Jiyun just slowly approached the three of them with his head hanging guiltily low.

"Yes, dad?"

"What did you do?"

"He ruined my sand cakes!" The little girl in Mark's hands sobbed. Mark looked at his little girl and wiped her tears carefully while whispering 'there, there my little one. Everything is going to be okay.'

"Jiyun... What do we do when we do something wrong?" Jackson asked his son and Jiyun said a quiet 'I'm sorry, I won't do that anymore'

The little girl sniffed.

"Promise?"

"Pinky promise!" Jiyun exclaimed quickly as if promising as soon as possible will make everyone believe it more and stretched out his arm with pinky towards the little girl. Mark put the girl down and they made a pinky promise.

"Wanna be friends?" Jiyun asked to which the girl nodded and they ran back to the sand box to make more cakes.

Both men stood there awkwardly while watching their kids. Jackson looked at Mark, taking a good look at his face. It's been a while.

"You're staring" 

"Oh, sorry.. Let's sit down?" Jackson asked hopefully and he saw Mark hesitate.. But he sat down anyways.

"How have you been..?" Jackson asked while looking at Mark. His not shaved beard, more visible jawline, his hair dark.. He really has grown a lot.

"Not as busy as you. I hear you have activities almost every day" Mark said not taking his eyes off the little ones.

"Jiyun looks like a nice kid.." Mark said quietly, more to himself but Jackson still heard.

"He is a good kid"

"Everyone says that about their kids Jackson. Those ruined sand cakes over there," he pointed at the few sad sand cakes that have been stepped on "could say otherwise"

"I--" Jackson got cut off by his phone buzzing once again.

Man of a ger: You there?

Jack: I really can't tonight..

Man of a ger: Well sucks, you gotta do what you gotta do, free up your time.

Jack: But my son..

Man of a ger: Give the kid to his mother, get a baby sitter, I don't care Jackson, I need you here at 6pm sharp.

Jackson let out a frustrated noise and that finally made Mark look at him with curiosity.

"You okay?"

"Uh, yeah, no, shit"

"Uh, Jackson, I don't think this is the right place to swear"

"I know, I'm sorry, it's just.. Chaehee is busy tonight and I was supposed to have a schedule today and Jiyun.." Jackson looked at Mark to see him bite his lip with annoyance.

"I could watch Jiyun, I guess.."

"Wait what?"

"I said I coul--"

"Would you really? I don't want to bother you and Jaehwa"

"Jaehwa and I got a divorce long time ago, she has a new life so it's just me and Miyeon" Mark smiled a small smile to himself at the mention of his daughter but the smile was so little Jackson barely noticed it and even had a thought his mind was playing games.

"Really Mark? Are you sure? I will feel really bad if I do that right after we just.. met again" Jackson whispered the last part.

"Jackson, I offered to watch him on my own will, God, don't make me change my mind"

"Thank you, Thank you, Thank you" Jackson said, noting to self that he will owe Mark now.

"When do you have to go?"

"At 6"

"We have two hours then, let's go to my place and then you can go wherever you have to go.. You know.. Traffic" Mark said awkwardly and Jackson nodded.

The men both called their kids and both took them by the tiny hands and started walking towards Mark's apartment, Mark leading the way.

"Where are we going?" Jiyun looked at his dad who smiled at the tiny human beside him.

"We're going to that uncle's house" Jackson smiled and Jiyun's eyes lit up.

"Miyeon's too?" To which Jackson nodded.

They got to the apartment which was actually closer to Jackson's than he would've ever thought.

"Is your number the same..?" Jackson asked and Mark just nodded at him making Jackson slightly confused but he let it slide.

"Yeah, I'm guessing your's has changed?" Mark asked but to his surprise Jackson shook his head in response.

"It's too meaningful.." Jackson mumbled under his breath but then cleared his throat "anyways, I'll text you when I finish my schedule"

A nod.

"I'll go then. Jiyun-ah please behave, okay?" Jackson asked to which Jiyun nodded.

Jackson looked at Mark for the last time, Mark returned the glance and then Jackson left.

\-----------------------------------------------------------

"Ahjussi, who are you?" Jiyun pulled at the male that arrived not so long ago making him annoyed.

"Kid, I'm not that old"

"Bro, chill, he's just a kid"

"Yes, please tell.. You randomly met him and said you can watch his kid?" Silence.

"Mark, really, what the heck are you doing??"

"I told him I would watch his kid as a parent, as someone who knows how it is to have schedules and having to find someone who can watch the kid on a short notice"

\-----------------------------------------------------------------

"Hmm.. Jackson, you're unusually chipper for someone who had to leave his little kid with someone"

Jackson chuckled nervously.

"Yeah, no reason.." he said yet his never fading smile told a different story.

\-----------------------------------------------------------------

There was a knock on Mark's apartment door. Mark prayed that Jackson wouldn't use the doorbell, after all it's almost 1am and the kids are sleeping soundly.

Mark let Jackson through the door and immediately noticed how exhausted Jackson looked. Whoever was in charge of making Jackson's schedules didn't spare him, not one bit. Mark almost felt bad, just almost.

"Jackson, you look horrible" Mark frowned to which Jackson nodded and yawned.

"I know.."

They just stood there in silence. Neither of them saying anything. Jackson looked like he will black out in a second so Mark took Jackson's wrist and lead him to the couch of his apartment's living room.

"What are you doing?"

"You look exhausted, no way am I letting you walk home exhausted with the kid" Mark said not even looking at Jackson while getting blankets and pillows for him.

"Mark I don't really--"

"Just stay Jackson, don't argue.. At least not now.. Please.." Mark whispered and Jackson froze.

He sounded... broken..?

Jackson nodded and sat down while watching Mark who now avoided Jackson's eyes at all costs.

"There's everything.. If you need something I'll be either in my own or Miyeon's room. Good night Jackson" And with that Mark disappeared.

Jackson got the couch done and laid down.

The couch smelled like Mark.. Mark still smelled the same.. Jackson had missed Mark a lot and he didn't really realise that until he met Mark again.. Mark was like a drug that once you, after being clean, slip, you become more addicted. Jackson missed Mark's jawline and his eyes.. Jackson remembered when Mark got his tongue piercing.. Man, those were the times.

Jackson tossed and turned, counted sheeps but no use, he really couldn’t fall asleep.. Mark's scent wouldn't let him. He really did miss Mark, his best friend.. His group mate.. 

Jackson was about to get out of bed but then he heard Mark coming through the door so he froze. Mark quietly passed Jackson and went straight to the kitchen. Jackson heard water pouring into a glass and then Mark went back to his room but before he walked in his room, Jackson heard Mark mumble something but he couldn't figure out what.

\----------------------------------------------------------------

Jack: Are you coming?

Markie: Yeah, be there in a bit

Jack: Hurry up  
Jack: You're late

Jackson heard someone huff.

"You don't say, captain obvious" Mark rolled his eyes as he sat in front of Jackson.

To be honest, Jackson thought all this was a dream. He thought these two weeks that passed were a work of his brain during the night. But no, Mark was sitting in front of him right now, right this very second.

Now don't get him wrong.

He could've contacted Mark sooner, yes. But for some reason he couldn't. Perhaps it was guilt that stopped him every time he had clicked on Mark's contact name and about to send Mark a text message with 'Hey.. Long time no talk.. I'm sorry.. Could we meet again?'

"I missed you so much.." Jackson suddenly said with a serious expression on his face making Mark slightly uncomfortable.

"Uh, did you order anything..?" Mark awkwardly asked as he looked at the tiny menu while trying his best to avoid Jackson's eyes.

"Hamburger.. It's still your favourite, isn't it..?" Jackson sounded hopeful. Mark let out almost inaudible shaky breath and looked nervously at Jackson.

Mark had no idea why he was here.

It's not like Jackson has probably changed.

It's not like Mark wanted all the pain to come back.

"Uh, kind of.. I mean you could say that.. Uh. Yeah."

Jackson nodded.

The food arrived and they ate in silence. Jackson asking few questions here and there and getting short, quiet answers in response.

But honestly, Jackson couldn't stop staring at Mark. He was beautiful.. If back in the day he thought Mark was beautiful, he was even more beautiful right now, he looked ethereal.

Jackson knew something wasn't right. They used to be very good friends but now they're almost like strangers.

"Mark..? Do you hate.. me..?" Jackson dreaded the answer to this question and after this question left Jackson's mouth, Mark froze. He didn't know what to answer. Should Mark lie? Or most likely hurt him by telling him what he's feeling?

"I don't know" Mark said and just stared at his food that he had abandoned the moment that question left Jackson's mouth.

After Mark's response there was a long moment of silence making Jackson confused. But when Jackson was about to say something Mark continued.

"I don't know why I am even here. I don't know why I offered you to watch Jiyun. Hell, I should have never asked you that stupid question back then. I should have never confessed. I should have never fallen for you back then. God, I loved you Jackson, more than you could ever imagine. I hate that I asked you if you'll be my boyfriend and literally the next second a chick comes through our door introducing herself as your girlfriend? You do understand that all the arguments happened because I was hurt? Hell, Jackson, I have a question for you: What are you doing? You have a wife, why are you trying to talk to me again? Why are you trying to build a friendship after breaking me into million pieces? I want to hate you, Jackson. And you know what's worse? The worst thing is that I can't despise you because at some point, you meant the world to me."

Mark just vented.. Vented to his heart's extent with tears in his eyes because even if years had passed by; Mark was still hurt. Mark was still broken and all this was done by Jackson alone.

"I-I..."

"Save it. I hope Chaehee was worth it" Mark said, got up and left leaving Jackson sitting by himself with two unfinished portions of food.

"My heart never really wanted her.." Jackson whispered to himself before he picked up his things and left.

\---------------------------------------------------------------  
× × × × × × ×  
"Jackson..? Could I.. Talk to you?" Mark asked his best friend shyly.

Jackson happily nodded at him, locked his phone and switched all his attention on Mark making him feel flustered.

"Uh.. Jackson, I like you.. A lot" Mark said to his friend in Chinese as he tried to look at Jackson, who stood there shocked. Mark was nervous but he kept trying to keep his eyes on Jackson.

Jackson didn't know what to say.

"Will you be my boyfriend..?" Mark asked with a small smile but when he saw that Jackson wasn't smiling back at him, his smile dropped. Mark was so sure Jackson liked him back.. Maybe he was wrong? Soon after, a knock on their dorm room followed.

The door opened and through it a girl walked in.

"Hey baby, I missed you" The girl pouted making Mark look at Jackson in disbelief who was looking back at Mark with horror on his face.

"I get it" Mark said quietly and went back to his room he shared with Jackson.  
× × × × × × ×  
\---------------------------------------------------------------

"Hey man, long time no see" Namjoon smiled as he greeted Jackson with a handshake.

"Hey" 

"Chaehee?"

"Huh?"

"You greeted me without even smiling a bit, was it Chaehee?"

"Ah, oh, um, no" Jackson said and looked at the tips of his shoes.

"What happened?" Namjoon raised his eyebrows in confusion. Jackson looked up at Namjoon and Namjoon's confused facial expression dropped, he was concerned now. Namjoon was concerned about Jackson as his friend and as his colleague, as his brother and as his platonic soulmate. Right now, Jackson looked broken, if few days ago at the shoot he looked happier than in the past few years, now he looks worse than in the past few years combined.

"Joon" Jackson choked out as his tearful eyes were about to release waterfalls and all Namjoon could do in this moment was just hug him, rub his back and let him cry his heart out so that's exactly what he did.

Namjoon lead them to sit down and Jackson only crying more and more every now and then. It was hard for Namjoon too, hard to see his friend break down like this and not having even a slightest clue on what is going on. Namjoon felt Jackson starting to hyperventilate and shake from all the crying he's been doing.

"Hey, Jackson, breathe slower" Namjoon said and Jackson nodded trying to suppress his sobs but he couldn't.

Jackson felt horrible; he never told Mark about him getting a girlfriend, he now knows that he played a dangerous game back then when they cuddled almost every night to sleep because 'it's easier to fall asleep that way' when in reality it was just an excuse Jackson used to get Mark to cuddle him, now he knows that all those tension full moments weren't just in his head because he never really understood why Mark became so distant if it was just a tiny crush. He's realised a lot of things after Mark's outburst but even if no one has ever said it out loud, at least not with him around, he knew damn well that the reason Got7 came to an end was because of him and it was his fault he lost his best friends, it was his fault all of them were broken and it was his fault that the news of Got7 disbandment affected a lot of fans.

Though, he can't seem to understand why he's being like this now, he's been feeling down whenever he was alone when he thought about how everyone must despise him. Especially the rest of the guys he had lived with for a long time while being a trainee and after debuting. But even if he was feeling down, he never cried. Teared up, maybe. But never really cried.

Jackson calmed down after a while, sniffling every now and then. Namjoon patted his back and got up to go get Jackson a glass of water. After getting the glass of water he stopped in a doorway to the living room. He looked at Jackson who had hugged his knees now and was looking in one spot.

"Do you want to talk about it..?" Namjoon asked and was giving Jackson the glass of water as he was sitting down next to him. Jackson took the glass and drank it all.

"I," Jackson cleared his throat "I met up with Mark"

Namjoon froze.

"Mark as in Mark Tuan?"

Jackson nodded.

"Our first meeting after all these years was at the playground for kids when I took Jiyun there, he ruined Mark's daughter's sand cakes so Mark came up to me to complain"

Namjoon nodded letting Jackson talk without being interrupted.

"I had a schedule that day, our shoot Joon, and I was stressing because where am I gonna leave Jiyun, I couldn't really take him along yet, he needs to grow a little before he could come, you know. So Mark suggested to watch Jiyun and after our shoot finished I went to pick up the little mushroom and go home but I was so close to passing out so Mark made me stay at his place" Namjoon nodded resting his hand on his hand.

"After that we've hung out a few times but his answers seemed cold so I asked him if h-he hated me..." Jackson had tears in his eyes that he tried to hold in, he didn't want to cry again, not now.

"Oh Jackson.." Namjoon said.

"At least I know everything now.."

"You'll be okay"

"No, I won't! He hates me.." Jackson sniffed and Namjoon put his hand on Jackson's shoulder.

"I don't think he doe--"

"It’s not just him who hates me.. It's all of them.."

\---------------------------------------------------------------  
× × × × × × ×  
Mark sat on his bed, squeezing his pillow against his ears as he heard Chaehee laugh from the living room.

He hated this, he hated her laugh, he hated Chaehee, he hated himself.

Mark teared up as he couldn't handle being this way.

Why did he have to fall for his best friend, who is also his roommate and apparently has a girlfriend. Hell, why did he even think he had a chance with Jackson anyways? People tend to cuddle with no feelings attached, friends also pin each other against the wall jokingly when imitating someone, friends hug too, friends tend to kiss too, right? Obviously friends make each other happy too so why.. Why did he have to end up with these feelings for his best friend?

Mark heard the laughter stop; silence overtook the apartment meaning now Mark had nothing to distract him from his own demons that criticised him for actually even hoping Jackson would at least consider becoming his boyfriend.

The demon thoughts were too much for Mark making the poor boy cry.

The bedroom door soon opened and the moment Jackson saw Mark, he froze; he froze after seeing Mark's red, puffy eyes, messy blond hair.

He wanted to say something and opened mouth to do so.. But for some reason no syllables left his mouth so he just.. closed it.

That broke Mark even more. Mark was hoping for his best friend to reassure him that everything will be okay. Mark wanted for his best friend to soothe him, to heal him bit by bit.. but it never happened..

Mark couldn't handle this situation so he just grabbed his blanket, pillow and walked outside of their room.

Mark went to Youngjae's room and knocked on it; Youngjae opened the door and once he saw Mark, he let him in without exchange of words.

"I'm not going back to that room" Mark sobbed and Youngjae just hugged him while looking at Jaebum who looked the most concerned.  
× × × × × × ×  
\---------------------------------------------------------------

Jack: Joon..

PS ✨: Yes?

Jack: I just saw Mark as I was going home...

PS ✨: Are you okay? Do you need me to come over?

Jack: No, no, I'm okay..

PS ✨: You sure?

Jack: He looked beautiful, Joon..  
Jack: Hell, he was beautiful years ago, he looks magnificent now  
Jack: He's grown up well and even if I thought back then that he was good looking and reached the highest point on the good lookingness scale, I was majorly wrong  
Jack: He is so... handsome

PS ✨: Jackson...

Jack: I'm sorry, I know I shouldn't keep thinking about him  
Jack: But I can't, you know  
Jack: I can't stop thinking about how I fucked up  
Jack: I fucked up the lives of my friends and most importantly his

\---------------------------------------------------------------  
× × × × × × ×  
"Guys, please sit!" The MC called them out so the boys all walked from behind the camera towards the chairs. All of them smiling; some genuine smiles, some fake.

"One, Two, Come and get it, Got7, hello. We are Got7"

Boys bowed and waved with smiles as they greeted the camera.

The MC asked about their last album which Yugyeom had the honour to introduce. For a moment Mark had forgotten about his worries until it was time for the segment with fan requests and questions.

"Jackson and Mark, please talk in Chinese" MC read one of the fan requests and Jackson looked at Mark expectingly but Mark's smile dropped and now he sat frozen and looking almost scared.

"I, uh," Mark started but he had nothing to say, he definitely did not want to have a conversation with him, especially in Chinese.

"Heyheyhey this is a Koreannn showw, we must talk in Koreannnn" Bambam quickly said after he noticed Mark's discomfort.

Chinese was special to Mark, especially since it was just the two of them that could understand it. Mark used Chinese with Jackson because he treasured the moments they both spoke it since none of the other members really understood. But now after the incident.. Mark could barely even look at Jackson let alone speak.

"I'm sorry, Mark hasn't spoken Chinese in a while so I think he's nervous to do that" Mark heard Jackson say while giving the MC a warm smile but all Mark could do in this moment was look at the ground.

They used Chinese to share secrets, to cheat in games, to compliment each other and to reassure each other every night while cuddling. Especially in those moments when Mark felt self conscious as his Korean wasn't perfect and neither was his English pronunciation or in moments when the hate got to Jackson. Chinese was just something he shared with someone special but now, after that night broke him, Mark moved to Youngjae and Jaebum's room, he stopped talking to Jackson and spoke only if he had no other choice, he avoided Jackson unless he had no choice, every time he got to the dorms he went to his new room and just sat there. He didn't leave his new room and that made Jackson feel upset because he wanted to talk to Mark, talk it out, but he couldn't. 

Also their friends didn't help much either. They all seemed to have turned against him. Every time he entered room with everyone, he suddenly felt the atmosphere become heavy. He was so sure he heard Youngjae's laugh just a few moments ago, after all it isn't that hard to miss his laugh. But now as he sat next to his friends, everyone just sat quietly sharing glances and Jackson felt left out. At this point the air was extremely heavy in the room and everyone felt uncomfortable. Jackson knew he was the cause of this awkwardness so he just got up, quietly excused himself and went to his room.  
× × × × × × ×  
\---------------------------------------------------------------

"Park Jinyoung called you" One of the staff members said making Jackson let out a sigh.

"Yes, I heard, thank you" Jackson said before passing the woman and making his way towards a door behind which sits Park Jinyoung himself.

Jackson opened the door and ran into someone. Jackson was about to apologise but stopped mid-sentence when he saw whom he had ran into.

"Excuse me" Mark said unemotionally and walked away leaving Jackson dumbstruck.

"Ah, Jackson, come on in" Jinyoung said so Jackson did, closing the door behind him.

"What is this about, hyung? Have I done something?"

"Ahh, no, don't worry. But there's actually a thing I want to speak to you about"

"Yes?"

"A company reached out to our company and they are looking for kids to star in their commercial and I was thinking maybe little Jiyun could star in it?" 

"My little Jiyun?" Jackson asked dumbfounded "isn't he a bit too young?"

"They need kids and Jiyun, although a young one, is a clever kid. He'll do well"

Jackson froze. Did he really want to bring his kid into this industry at such young age? Does he really want to put his kid through all the hardships?

Jackson gave it a thought and came to a conclusion that they probably won't be that hard on the little one since he is little and if Jiyun likes being in front of camera, Jackson could find Jiyun more commercials to do as a hobby. But if Jiyun hates the experience Jackson will know to never get Jiyun into this industry ever again.

"Only if they treat him well" Jackson gave his only condition. After all Jiyun is a sunshine and deserves everything good in this world.

"You'll be there to supervise everything so don't worry" Jinyoung assured Jackson and Jackson nodded.

"I'll text you details. Can't wait to see Jiyun again" Jinyoung smiled at Jackson making Jackson nod and give back a small smile.

"Hyung, he misses you too"

\---------------------------------------------------------------  
× × × × × × ×  
It was quiet at dorms when Jackson arrived. It made Jackson upset that he felt less weight pressing on his chest when he wasn't around others at the dorms. He was exhausted and he wanted to sleep but at the same time he couldn't bring himself to go to bed because night was the only time of the day when he didn't feel pressured, he could just do whatever.

Jackson decided to have a warm cup of tea with milk before heading to his room to sleep. He took his time to enjoy his time alone even if it felt lonely. He was enjoying the fact that his friends weren't awkward around him even though it was only because they were sleeping.

After finishing his tea he went straight to bed without taking a shower since he didn't want to wake up his friends. Honestly, lately he never really showered at the dorm showers anyways, he used staff showers at JYP the building after practices. Also it's a routine for him to take fresh clothes to put them in his locker at JYP building (everyone does that anyways it's just that Jackson doubles the amount).

Jackson stopped mid yawn right before touching the door handle to his room when he heard coughing behind the door. At first, Jackson was confused, soon after he became happy because, finally, he can talk it out with Mark but as he was about to open the door full of excitement he was stopped again by a silent cry.

Jackson stood there frozen while looking at the door handle as he kept on hearing sniffles and silent sobs. Mark's sobs were muted as if he was crying in the pillow to make his cries more silent. Anyone could clearly hear in how much pain Mark was but no matter how much Jackson wanted for Mark's cries to stop, because they were breaking his heart, he could neither open the door and stop them nor walk away. His body physically couldn't move. All he could do is just, stand there.

A door to another room opened which made Jackson look away from the door to his room and towards the door that opened. He saw a sleepy Youngjae come out of the room while rubbing his eye and frown when he saw Jackson.

"You weren't supposed to be here tonight" He said with a frown and a soft, sleepy voice.  
× × × × × × ×  
\---------------------------------------------------------------

"Jiyun? Your dad will need you to act, can you do that, love?" 

"Act?" Jiyun rose up from laying on the ground.

"Yes, baby.. You'll have to be a good boy and do whatever the director asks you to do, can you do that?" Jackson asked his son and Jiyun nodded excitedly while looking at Jackson.

Both of them got ready and left for the place the advertisement shoot was scheduled.

It was scheduled at a small, comfortable cafe that felt homelike, which in Jackson's opinion was perfect for an advertisement that stars kids.

"Jiyun, you've grown so much" Jackson and Jiyun heard Jinyoung's voice behind them making little Jiyun spin around enthusiastically and after running up to Jinyoung, hug him.

"Hey, little one.. How are you?"

Jackson watched as the two progressed into a conversation until Jackson heard a familiar voice calling a familiar name.

"Miyeon, please!" The voice was frustrated and soon a cry followed.

"But I don't know anyone!!" Miyeon's small voice cried and Jackson noticed how Jiyun quickly turned his head towards the cry, then Jiyun excused himself and ran towards the cry making Jackson smile.

"He's such a nice, sweet and smart young boy" Jinyoung complimented and Jackson nodded. Jiyun really was a good kid.

Jiyun ran up to the cries and hugged the little girl.

"Miyeon, why are you crying?" Jiyun pouted making Miyeon stop her cries and Mark widen his eyes once he saw Jiyun.

"Jiyun!! Are you going to act too?" Miyeon asked hopefully to which Jiyun nodded making the little girl squeal.

"Jiyun? Are you here with your mum or dad?" Mark asked silently hoping he's here with Chaehee but once Jiyun pointed at a direction from which he came from Mark's question was answered. Of course, he saw Jackson there with Jinyoung.

Mark saw Jinyoung leaning towards Jackson's ear and saying something to Jackson while Jackson kept looking at Mark and kids. When Jinyoung finished saying what he wanted to say, Mark saw Jackson close his eyes and shake his head then Jackson turned and walked towards the director for this advertisement.

"Miyeon, don't cry! Let's work hard! I'll see you!" Jiyun was about to leave but Miyeon grabbed his hand.

"NO, JIYUN DON'T LEAVE ME" Miyeon exclaimed with visible tears in her eyes that soon started rolling down her cheeks that still had a bit of baby fat.

"I need to go to my dad. We will work together Miyeon, don't cry, I promise!" Jiyun calmed the little girl down and wiped her tears.

"I will be back soon, okay?" Jiyun asked but Miyeon would not let Jiyun go.

"Pinky promise?" Miyeon asked making Jiyun nod and intertwine their small pinkies.

Jiyun left and Miyeon looked at her dad who was watching the whole thing happen. Mark quickly wiped his cheek before Miyeon could question him and he bent down to pick his little girl up.

"Let's go, Miyeon!" 

\---------------------------------------------------------------  
× × × × × × ×  
"Let's go there!!" Chaehee exclaimed happily as she ran towards the ice cream stand with Jackson following her close by.

"Chaehee slower please.." Jackson let out a sigh, he really does not feel well.

"Jackson, come on!!" She called impatiently making Jackson sigh again.

They bought their ice creams and sat down on a bench at a park.

They sat quietly while eating their ice creams. Jackson was looking at the ground and eating his ice cream ever so slowly meanwhile Chaehee watched her boyfriend and soon she could not stand watching him.

"Jackson, what is wrong with you?" She asked concerned about her boyfriend "you've been quiet and all to yourself our whole date."

"Hmm? I'm just thinking" Jackson answered and bit down on his ice cream.

"I love books and all but why'd you really choose library as our first place to go to on this date?"

"Because you love reading, it was nice, wasn't it?" Jackson asked and you could really tell he was not enjoying this date and it was making Chaehee frustrated at this point.

"You've been like this for the past few weeks, actually ever since we told your group mates about us being together" Chaehee vented her frustrations out making Jackson frown.

"I don't know what you're talking about"

"Honestly, Jackson.. I can tell you're not feeling well.. I don't know what's wrong but it would be nice if you shared whatever's on your mind right now because it's clearly bothering you to the point you can't enjoy your date with your girlfriend"  
× × × × × × ×  
\---------------------------------------------------------------

After Jiyun demanded to the director not leaving Miyeon's side while recording the advertisement, the director had no choice but to change his initial idea for the advertisement since Jiyun was so keen on working together with Miyeon. Little guy even puffed up his baby cheeks, crossed his arms and refused to leave Miyeon's side. The scene made Jackson's and everyone else's hearts melt including Mark's. It reminded Mark of a similar moment that happened between him and Jackson.

Mark looked at Jackson once memories crossed his mind and anyone could clearly see a sad smile on his face. Mark remembered those times when he would feel uncomfortable and Jackson would go out of his way just to make Mark feel more comfortable. That time when Yugyeom teased Mark about being quiet and Jackson defending him saying that Mark's quietness evens out his noisiness. Or maybe that time when Mark was asked to host an event and even though Jackson was supposed to be doing something else at that time, he still stayed by Mark's side no matter what.

Jackson looked at Mark but only right after Mark had looked away. Jackson missed Mark a lot. Jackson regrets how everything played out few years ago.. It truly is regretful .

\---------------------------------------------------------------  
× × × × × × ×  
Jackson looked at Chaehee dumbfoundedly. Jackson felt a lot of things this very moment but at most he felt lonely, broken, dumb, sad and like a criminal. Jackson really wanted to let his worries out. So for now he sat and looked straight ahead with ice cream in his hand, he had forgotten about it long time ago.

"Jackson, are you going to talk to me or not?" Chaehee asked annoyed but her features softened a little once she saw a tear roll down Jackson's cheek.

Jackson looked at her.

"Chaehee.." Jackson's voice cracked, he really did feel broken. He felt like his whole world is about to disappear, he felt as if something bad is about to happen. But no matter how hard he wanted to calm down, to not cry, his tears wouldn't stop, in fact, they grew bigger and there were more and more tears by second.

"Chaehee, I think I love Mark" Jackson let out his biggest secret. No one really knew.

Chaehee's heart broke at that sentence but not because her boyfriend doesn't love her, actually her heart broke because of how broken Jackson's voice and cries were. Of course, any girlfriend out there would be furious that the boyfriend had been lying to her but Chaehee didn't care about that at the moment.

"Jackson? Listen Jackson.. You hear me?" Chaehee desperately called Jackson in hopes for Jackson to talk with her but Chaehee couldn't get through his cries.

It really hurt Jackson. It hurt him how he's hurting Chaehee right now, she's been nothing but nice to him. It hurt him how all his group mates became awkward around him, they used to be able to do anything in front of each other, they did dumb stuff together. It hurt how he hurt his fans too and actually how shocked was his mother when he told her about Chaehee being his girlfriend. Of course, Jackson's mother thought he'll end up with a different kind of person and not someone like Chaehee. But what hurt the most was the fact that he hurt Mark. Jackson still clearly remembers that day when Mark left their shared room, he obviously still remembers really clearly how Mark cried himself to sleep all alone in their room when Jackson wasn't supposed to stay at the dorms that night. Jackson remembers everything. And he blames himself for how things played out just because he wasn't sure of his own feelings and he couldn't tell Mark that day that he liked him too. These past few weeks were enough for Jackson to understand the situation he's in. Not only that but also he's been getting this empty feeling all day, that he previously never had.

"Jackson, can you hear me? Please.." Chaehee pleaded while grabbing Jackson's face with her palms and making him look at her "tell me what's going on so I could try and help"

"Oh Chaehee I'm so sorry" Jackson sobbed into her shoulder as she patted Jackson's back.

"It's okay, it's okay, let's talk"

"When you came to our dorm for the first time" Jackson sobbed "I didn't know how I felt, I obviously liked you but I liked Mark or so I thought I liked him, but I thought I had no chance with Mark so I asked you to be my girlfriend. That time.. That time you came over for the first time.. Mark confessed and asked me if I wanted to be his boyfriend but then you came through" Jackson told her the beginning of everything making her feel guilty.

"So after that Mark started avoiding me and it kinda hurt, you know? My group mates became very awkward around me too.. Mark also moved out of our shared room and used it for crying when I wasn't at the dorms" A tear left his eye as he continued explaining.

"And now we're here, me realising I'm in love with Mark, hurting you and everyone else including Mark and I don't want to hurt him.. But even if I don't want to.. I already did" The last part he whispered and as he whispered it tears flooded his eyes again.

Chaehee took a deep breath in, wiped Jackson's tears and looked deeply into his eyes.

"Jackson, go get your man" Chaehee said it quietly but still loud enough for Jackson to hear.

In that moment everything became slow motion for Jackson, he got up and ran towards the dorms.

"Make me proud, Jackson" Chaehee whispered to herself as she watched Jackson bolt away faster than she's ever seen him run.  
× × × × × ×  
\---------------------------------------------------------------

After making sure Jiyun is behaving (even tho he really shouldn't have, Jiyun's an angel) he decided to go check the snack table crafties had prepared. He turned towards the table and just when he started going towards the table he stopped completely still once he saw Mark next to the table. Jackson remembers every word of their last actual conversation. How Mark told Jackson how he actually felt. Jackson considered not going to the table but grabbing something for Jiyun to snack on when they finish filming a scene was something he felt like doing so he continued his way to the snack table.

Jackson walked up to the table slowly and carefully hoping Mark won't leave and he didn't. Jackson grabbed a plastic cup, dropped few slices of fruit in it and poured water in the cup, Jiyun's favourite drink that he calls power water. Jackson also grabbed a plastic plate, put in it a few slices of fruit, also some crackers and breadsticks.

Mark was there, next to Jackson, kind of watching him. Mark felt bad about how rude he was to Jackson the last few times they met. But in no way could he bring himself to apologise, so he just stood there minding his own business.

After preparing snacks for Jiyun Jackson also grabbed a few to drop in his mouth too. Jackson wanted to apologise, for everything but alas no words left his mouth as he couldn't bring himself to speak to Mark ever again.

"Jiyun's a nice kid, you raised him well" Mark said quietly as he looked at the kids which shocked Jackson.

"T-Thank you" A stutter left his mouth and nothing else. Jackson screamed at himself, he wanted to apologise, but he knows he's not worthy of forgiveness.

"You know, what happened reminded me of some situations related to you" Mark smiled a really small smile at the memories that used to comfort him and still do in a way.

"Mark, I.." Jackson looked helplessly at Mark.. but still nothing.

Mark smiled a slightly pained smile, he knows what Jackson is going through right now.. Jackson wants to apologise because he just wanted to become friends again, but Mark freaked out on him. Mark felt like Jackson wanted to apologise for bringing Mark back bad memories when in reality it wasn't just that. All these years Jackson carried all his pain with him, the pain of losing his world, the pain of hurting his world.

"Hope to see you around?" Mark asked with a small smile and walked off.

\---------------------------------------------------------------  
× × × × × ×  
Jackson ran up the stairs faster than ever and he flew through the dorm door going straight to Youngjae and Jaebum's room and opening the door without knocking. He saw no one there but then he heard crying. It wasn't just one person though.. There were multiple people crying. Jackson turned around to face the direction from which the crying was coming from.

He saw his group mates faces that were stained with tears. There was Bambam crying into a pillow and Yugyeom calming him down while also having a small tear rolling down his cheek. He saw Youngjae bawling into Jinyoung's shoulder and Jaebum sitting on a chair with teary eyes and a note in his hands.

Jackson's heart stopped. Why were his group mates crying? Where's Mark? What's this awful feeling he's been getting today that amplified once he heard cries of everyone.

Jaebum looked at Jackson with a pained and broken look in his eyes while passing Jackson the note.

'Hello! I'm sorry this had to end like this'  
with this Jackson's heart dropped to his stomach  
'All the years we spent together, both as trainees and as idols, I'll remember them. Of course I will, how can I not. With this letter I wanted to apologise and say my goodbyes. First things first I am sorry I became so unprofessional. I let my personal feelings affect my work which affected our group. We were supposed to be seven forever. I'm sorry I'm breaking our promise of always being together. I'll miss practises, new releases.. I will miss ahgases.. Please treat them well.. By now the media already knows that I've left so please update ahgase and cheer them up. I'm dropping from social media so uh yeah, and I already changed my number. Yugyeom and Bam, I'm thankful towards you for always knowing how to cheer me up. Jinyoung, I'm thankful for your existence. Jaebum and Youngjae, thank you for letting me have my private space when I needed to cry alone in my room. Jackson.. Thank you for all the good memories. As you probably understood by now, I'm leaving Got7. Our manager, Jyp, jyp staff know, everyone knows. I'm leaving with good thoughts on my mind, I'll miss you, friends. Stay strong everyone :)'

The tv was on, there were celebrity news with a picture of Mark and the rest of the members with Mark torn from the picture and huge writing with 'MARK LEAVES GOT7 FOR UNKNOWN REASONS' plastered all over the screen. They also showed netizen comments. Everyone being sad, speculating what could've happened and hating on everyone.

Jackson was empty. Jackson didn't deserve the mention he got in the letter. Jackson was late.  
× × × × × ×  
\---------------------------------------------------------------

Jackson washed his face with cool water. Jiyun is the one working right now, why was he starting to feel exhausted?

He dabbed the face with a paper towel and left the washroom.

He saw Mark walking towards the exit and before he knew it he had ran up to Mark and grabbed his wrist.

Mark stopped and looked confused at Jackson.

"Mark I am.. so sorry.. About hurting you back then, I'm sorry for making you think back then that I didn't like you, I'm sorry for making you leave Got7, I'm sorry for hurting you now, I'm sorry for being selfish now because I want to talk to you but I'm probably hurting you.. Back then, that day when you left Got7.. I was on a date with Chaehee, do you remember that?" Jackson was looking Mark straight in the eyes. There were tears starting to well up in Jackson's eyes, he was so exhausted emotionally from himself, he had to let this all out. But when Mark didn't give an answer to his question because he was just listening, Jackson continued

"That day, I was down the whole day, I was thinking hard why, just why all that situation affected me like that. So after Chaehee noticed something was off, she called me out so while I was explaining to her what happened.. I realised.. Mark, I realised I was in love with you" A tear rolled down his cheek which he wiped off quickly "Chaehee said that I have to go and tell you how I felt.. But once I got to the dorms.. It was late.. You had left.."

Jackson said and he felt a bit lighter, he finally let out something he wanted to say for years.

"It's okay if you don't forgive me, I've hurt you, I know.. After your outburst your words kept repeating in my mind almost all the time. It makes me so sad that I hurt you and you know, it's kind of funny" Jackson chuckled "others in my place wouldn't be so affected by this after years.. Everyone would be over their love interests, right? Yeah, these past few weeks made me realise that I was never really over you.." Jackson was looking at ground.

Mark had a small smile on his lips and he raised Jackson's chin up with the tips of his fingers and he gave Jackson a kiss on his forehead.

"I'm so glad I'm not the only one feeling this way"

\---------------------------------------------------------------  
✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

"Ahh, I can't believe it's been years since all the drama happened" Youngjae fell into the couch .

"Youngjae, we need to sit too" Jaebum frowned which didn't go unnoticed by Jiyun.

"Ahjussi, let Youngjae uncle take up all the couch if he wants to" Jiyun crossed his arms.

"And again, Jiyun, I'm not that old to be an ahjussi" Jaebum sighed which made everyone except for the kids laugh.

"Babe, when are the rest coming?" Jackson called out lovingly to his boyfriend making Mark pop his head from the kitchen.

"They said they will be here soon" Mark smiled and went back to preparing food and snacks.

"You know Jackson, I'm glad to see both of you happy after all that happened but I'm not gonna lie, when Mark told me you guys met again, I wasn't all too happy about that"

"Heey, Jaebum, it's okay, they're okay" Youngjae chimed in worried that a fight will break out.

"If I was you, I wouldn't be happy too" Jackson smiled sadly.

As if on cue the doorbell rang and the kids ran towards the door happily.

"Is it Yugyeom uncle?" Both kids jumped up and down happily at which everyone smiled. Mark went to open the door with a big smile on his face and soon the small entryway was filled with people.

Everyone took their shoes off, hanged their jackets and stepped into the living room.

"MUM!" Jiyun exclaimed and ran up to Chaehee.

"Hey there, little one" She smiled happily at her son and then looked at everyone else. They were welcoming, it was nice since last time they actually all met was years ago and almost everyone had hard feelings towards Chaehee.

"Chaehee, I'd like to apologise for how I treated you few years ago" Jaebum said and Chaehee shook her head.

"No, no, Jaebum, it's okay!!" 

"This is nice" Bambam said and everyone nodded in agreement.

There was a sudden, loud gasp from Miyeon that made everyone worry so they all looked at Miyeon worried.

"Jinyoung, I missed you!!" Miyeon ran up to Jinyoung and cried in his shirt making Jinyoung chuckle.

"Eeeeyyy, of course you missed your favourite uncle, it's only obvious, isn't it?" Jinyoung sat her in his lap and tickled her receiving giggles from Miyeon as she hid her face in his chest.

"Jiyunnieee" Yugyeom called and Jiyun soon ran towards Yugyeom, of course only after Chaehee put him down.

Yugyeom picked Jiyun up in his arms and smiled at him "my tiny partner in crime" 

The evening went on, the atmosphere was nice, you could hear them laugh and chat a lot, and everyone got along well.

Mark leaned against Jackson and Jackson put his arm around Mark's shoulders.

"This is nice.. I'm glad everyone's getting along" Mark said quietly to which Jackson nodded and gave Mark a kiss on his forehead.

"I'm glad that after all we all went through, we are able to sit in one room and laugh"

Mark was smiling as he watched Jiyun, Yugyeom and Bambam play games, Chaehee, Jinyoung, Jaebum and Youngjae talk and including Miyeon in the conversation while she sat on Jinyoung's lap.

"I love you, Mark" Jackson said to which Mark smiled even bigger smile.

"I love you too, Jackson"

"Who would've thought that Jiyun accidentally ruining Miyeon's sand cakes would lead to this?" Bambam pointed at everyone making everyone smile. Good thing he did.


End file.
